No matter how we lose a dog it’s heartbreaking, but when a dog goes missing whether he got out or was stolen, it can be even harder because there’s a good chance that pet parent will never know what happened. Add to the grief possible feelings of guilt, blame, responsibility and failure.
Was the back gate not secure enough? Why was the dog left alone in the yard? I never should have hired that pet sitter…
Here’s a closer look at the grief that comes from losing a furry friend and how to navigate through those tough emotions.
Understanding the Depth of Your Loss
When a dog goes missing, it’s natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Surprise, sadness, anger, even guilt—these feelings can hit you like a tidal wave. Dogs provide companionship, loyalty, and joy. Their absence creates a hole that can’t be filled easily. It’s okay to grieve deeply because losing a dog is losing a constant source of love and support.
The Search for Clarity
Searching for your lost dog can be a mix of hope and despair. You might spend hours putting up flyers, checking shelters, posting on social media or calling friends. Each moment spent searching can feel like both a way to keep your hopes alive and a reminder of the uncertainty you’re facing. Think of it like a puzzle; every piece you find brings you closer to the picture—but some pieces might be missing altogether.
Finding Ways to Cope
You know you would never allow this to happen on purpose, and you must keep reminding yourself of this.
Rather than keeping all those emotions bottled up, going around and around inside your head, how about writing a letter to your dog. In it you can express everything you’re feeling and everything you want to say. I wrote an article about the loss of one of my dogs, and even though the circumstances were different, I was surprised by how much it helped me.
Make a list of everything you’ve done for your dog, all the ways you cared and loved him or her.
Write out a list of everything you’ve done to try and find your dog, including who you’ve contacted and where you’ve posted. What else can you think of to do?
Allowing Yourself to Feel
I know you’re busy searching and barely have time to think, but it’s vital to let yourself feel your emotions. Bottling them up is like keeping a soda can shaken; eventually, it will explode! Talk to friends or family about how you feel, and if you don’t get the understanding and compassion you need, find a support group. Sharing your memories can help ease the sting of loss. After all, your dog held a special place in your life, and honoring that bond can bring comfort.
Creating a Tribute
Many people find solace in creating a tribute to their lost dog. Whether it’s a photo book, a scrapbook, or a special spot in your yard, honoring your dog can help you remember the good times. This tribute becomes a space for reflection and love, keeping your dog’s spirit alive in your heart.
Finding Support in Community
Often, friends, family, or community members want to help but might not know how. Sharing your journey on social media can rally people to support your search or provide comforting words. You’re not alone in this; many people understand the pain of losing a furry friend and can stand by you.
When to Stop Looking
The hardest question to answer is, when will you stop looking and start dealing with the grief. This is such a personal question unique to you and your situation, and can really only be answered by you. Every once in awhile (every week or two perhaps?) take a quiet moment and ask yourself if it’s time to stop looking or you’re not there yet. Do what feels right for you.
Conclusion: Cherishing the Bond and Moving Forward
Grieving for a dog that’s lost is a journey filled with ups and downs. Allow yourself to feel, remember, and honor that special bond. Your feelings matter, and taking the time to recognize them is just as important as searching for a lost friend. With love and time, the pain can lessen, leaving only the fond memories that will forever warm your heart. Always remember, your dog might be gone, but that love will never fade.
Gradually, you might find ways to open your heart to new experiences, but it’s okay to take your time. Each day can be a step toward acceptance, just like learning to ride a bike—you might wobble at first, but eventually, you’ll find your balance again.
**I help senior dog parents struggling with anticipatory grief and quality of life issues by offering practical tips, advice and one on one support. I am also a Pet Loss Bereavement Specialist, helping you navigate through your pet loss journey.
Visit my services page to book a FREE 20 minute discovery call, or email me (Hindy) at hpearson141@gmail.com if you have any questions.
I’ve been rescuing and caring for senior dogs since 2009. From vision and hearing loss to obesity, dementia, kidney disease, liver issues, cardiac problems, Cushing’s, mobility challenges and more, you could say I’ve dealt with and learned a lot! In addition to my hands on experience, I’ve taken many courses and earned several qualifications to keep learning how to help senior dogs and they include: Senior Dog Enrichment, Understanding Canine Anxiety (diploma), Care of the Senior Pet (certificate), Pet Bereavement Counsellor (diploma) and I’m a Certified Pet Loss Grief Support Coach.