Losing a beloved pet is a deeply emotional experience that many people struggle to understand unless they’ve gone through it themselves. As a friend, you might feel unsure of what to do or say when someone close to you is grieving the loss of their animal companion. It can be difficult to find the right words or actions, but your presence and support can mean the world to someone going through this heart-wrenching time.

My Thoughts

I get it—it can feel super awkward. You don’t know what to say, or if you should say anything at all. Everyone handles grief differently, but I can tell you from personal experience: I want someone to say something. Even a simple “I’m so sorry” goes a long way.

My pets are a huge part of my life, and when someone ignores that loss entirely, it really hurts. When I said goodbye to my heart dog Red I was devastated. Although it was a few years ago, I still remember the people who never bothered saying a word.

I know it’s uncomfortable but honestly, I can’t muster any sympathy. Two tiny words – I’m sorry. You have no idea how much that could mean to someone who’s suffering.

Here are some thoughtful ways to help a friend who is grieving the loss of their pet:

1. Acknowledge Their Grief

Grief is personal and looks different for everyone. The first step in supporting your friend is simply acknowledging their loss. Let them know you see their pain and that it’s okay to feel devastated, sad, or even angry. Sometimes, offering a heartfelt “I’m so sorry for your loss” can be the first step toward giving them comfort.

2. Be a Good Listener

When your friend is ready to talk, be there to listen without judgment or the urge to “fix” the situation. Allow them to express their emotions freely — whether it’s about the pet’s personality, their special moments together, or the pain of the loss. Listening without interruption shows your friend that their grief is valid and that you care.

Avoid offering solutions or platitudes like “They’re in a better place” or “You can always get another pet.” It’s not helpful and will cause them to feel like you’re dismissing their pain and not understanding the depth of their loss.

3. Offer Practical Support

Grieving can make even the simplest daily tasks feel overwhelming. Offer specific help like bringing over a meal or two, or offering a ride if needed. Practical support can make a huge difference, allowing your friend to focus on their emotions without the added stress of daily responsibilities.

For example:

“Can I bring you dinner tonight?”

“Would you like help sorting through [pet’s name]’s things when you’re ready?”

“I’m free tomorrow if you need help with anything.”

4. Give Space When Needed

While offering your support is crucial, it’s also important to respect your friend’s need for space. Some people may need time alone to process their grief, and that’s okay. Let your friend know that you’re available when they’re ready, but don’t pressure them to talk or “move on” too soon.

Example message:

“I understand if you need some time to yourself right now. Just know I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

5. Help Them Create a Memorial

Many people find comfort in honoring their pet’s memory. You could offer to help your friend create a small memorial — something that helps them celebrate the life of their pet and keep their memory alive. This could be something as simple as helping them frame a favorite photo, create a scrapbook, or plant a tree in their pet’s honor.

Ideas for a memorial:

• Framing a photo of their pet
• Creating a memory box with mementos like collars, toys, or favorite blankets
• Writing a letter or poem to their pet
• Donating to an animal rescue in their pet’s name
• If you have any photos of your friend with their pet, consider printing a few and giving them as a thoughtful keepsake

6. Respect Their Healing Process

Healing after a pet’s loss takes time, and it can be a long process. Your friend may experience a variety of emotions — from sadness and guilt to anger and even numbness. There is no “right” way to grieve, and no set timeline for when someone should feel “better.”

Some days may be harder than others, and your friend may need extra support during anniversaries or birthdays. Keep checking in periodically, offering both emotional and practical support and remember, the grieving process doesn’t have a clear endpoint. Be patient and understanding as they move through their journey at their own pace.

7. Suggest Professional Support If Needed

Grief can sometimes feel overwhelming, and it may be difficult for your friend to cope without additional support. Gently suggest that they speak with a pet loss bereavement specialist or counselor if their grief feels too much to bear alone. Sometimes, professional help can provide a safe, structured environment to help them process their emotions.

Example message:

“If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through, I can help you find a pet loss counsellor or support group”

Final Thoughts

Grieving the loss of a pet can feel isolating, but your support can make all the difference. Simply offering a listening ear, practical help, and a safe space for emotions can provide comfort during this difficult time. By showing empathy, patience, and love, you help your friend feel less alone in their grief and remind them their beloved pet will always be remembered with love.

 

Pet Loss Grief Support Service

I’m a certified Pet Loss Bereavement Specialist, here to support you through the heartache of losing a beloved companion.

Having experienced the loss of my own cherished fur babies, I deeply understand the range of emotions that come with grief. I also know that no two journeys are the same — that’s why each session is thoughtfully tailored to your individual needs.

You’re welcome to book a free 20-minute call, giving you the space to see if I’m the right fit to support you. 

You’ll find supportive articles on my website to help you through your grief journey.