Let’s start by first defining what anticipatory grief is. It refers to the sadness people feel before their pet passes away. For some, this grief begins right after receiving a diagnosis from the vet. For others, it develops slowly as their pet’s health worsens and changes become more apparent.

Recognizing the Signs of Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief can appear in several noticeable ways…

• Many people experience strong sadness or anxiety about what lies ahead
• They may often think about potential losses or changes
• Some individuals choose to isolate themselves, feeling too burdened to engage with others
• Changes in sleep can occur, with some struggling to fall asleep or sleeping excessively
• Physical issues like headaches or stomach problems, may also arise
• Additionally, some might feel guilty about moving forward or finding joy in life

Recognizing these signs can aid in managing emotional distress.

Why is Anticipatory Grief so Tough to Deal With?

Anticipatory grief is challenging because it involves uncertainty about the future. People often feel confused about what’s happening and may struggle with self-blame. Common concerns include:

• Wondering if their dog is suffering
• Why they didn’t notice signs sooner
• What other actions they could have taken
• how to recognize the right time to let go
• When is enough enough
• How they’ll navigate life without their beloved pet

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

Understand your feelings are normal

Dealing with anticipatory grief can be tough. It’s important to recognize that your feelings are normal, and equally important to not let sadness overwhelm you. Focus on your dog and cherish the time you have together. Every moment counts, so make as many happy memories as you can with your furry friend.

Find a support system or build your own

Look for a support system or create one for yourself. Talking about your feelings with others who share similar experiences can bring comfort and reassurance. It’s tough when you try to explain something to people who haven’t gone through it themselves.

If you find yourself in this position, search online for local support groups for those dealing with AG, or consider starting your own. Begin by contacting a few friends and ask them to help spread the word about an informal meeting. Gather two or three people and set up a Zoom call. Perfect if you’re not comfortable meeting strangers in person, or those interested live outside your city (or country!)

Self-care is important

Taking care of yourself is essential. If you ignore your own needs, you won’t be able to help your dog effectively. If you haven’t tried mindfulness, now is a perfect time to start. Simply put, it means focusing on the present moment. When you’re with your dog, concentrate solely on them and your activities together. Your mind may wander, but that’s part of the practice.

For more information and tips, check out this article from the Mayo Clinic.

Get active by hitting the gym, swimming, or taking a calming walk every day. Any movement is beneficial for your well-being.

To stay strong, make sure you’re eating healthy foods or at least adding some nutritious options to your meals.

Take lots of pictures and videos

When my heart dog Red died, I was hit by the thought I’d never be able to take another picture of her. Take lots of pictures and videos, and don’t forget to include yourself in lots of them!

Talk to your vet

• Now would be a good time to speak with your vet about what signs you can expect to see as the illness progresses. Knowing this may help you avoid an emergency situation.

• You should also decide whether you want to say goodbye at your vet’s office, or have the vet come to your home.

• What are your wishes for after your pet passes? Burial in your garden or pet cemetery? Cremation and have ashes returned?

Thinking about these decisions now can help you avoid making hasty, irreversible decisions later.

Conclusion

Recognizing anticipatory grief is an important step in dealing with difficult emotions. Signs include ongoing sadness, anxiety, physical changes, and trouble focusing. Seeking help and practicing self-care are crucial for healing and acceptance. As you face this tough journey, remember that healing is possible. Surround yourself with supportive people and let yourself grieve.

 

I am a Senior Dog Care Consultant, helping senior dog parents struggling with anticipatory grief, quality of life and health & wellness issues. I offer practical tips, advice and one on one support. I am also a Certified Pet Loss Bereavement Specialist, helping you navigate through your pet loss journey.

Click this link to book a FREE 20 minute discovery call, visit my services page to find out more or email hindy@greypawsandall.com if you have any questions.