Grief, guilt, disbelief, blame, shock, trauma. All are normal reactions to pet loss, including loss as the result of an accident.

As pet parents, I know we pride ourselves on doing our best to control the environment so our pets are as safe as possible. If you’ve experienced loss as the result of an accident, it can be particularly difficult to bear, because there is often so much self-blame that comes into play.

You may be beating yourself up, feeling you could have done more to prevent it. It’s also devastating not having a chance to say goodbye.

While we all grieve differently and no two people experience loss in the same way, there is a lot of support out there so you don’t have to walk this journey alone.

As a pet loss specialist, I’m here to share some tips and advice to help you cope.

Causes of Accidental Death

Sadly, there are so many ways we can experience pet loss due to an accident.

• Hit by a car
• House fire
• Faulty latch or someone left the backyard gate open
• Attacked by another animal

Symptoms You May Exhibit as a Result of an Accidental Death

Whether or not you witnessed the event, it’s not uncommon to experience shock under these circumstances. You may find yourself shaking, experiencing palpitations, headaches, stomach aches, sleeplessness and more. You may even be experiencing PTSD.

How to Cope with the Accidental Death of Your Pet 

The following are not written in any particular order.

Know You’re not Alone

It’s true, many people don’t understand the bond between you and your furry friend so don’t waste time trying to convince them. There are plenty of groups and support systems filled with people who can relate, so let them comfort you.

Break Down the Event

According to Pet Loss Partners, when dealing with repetitive thoughts, it can be helpful to break down the event to try and break the cycle of repetitive thoughts.

They give an example of a cat running into the path of a car, because he or she got scared by a sound.

Here’s what they suggest you ask yourself:

• Did you make the sound that frightened your cat?
• Were you able to prevent the sound?
• Could you control the direction your cat ran in?
• Did you have control over the car driver, including what time they left their house and the route they were taking?
• Did you have any control over the injuries your pet sustained?
• When you let your cat out, did you intend to do harm?
• Can you see into the future?

In most cases, the answers to these questions will be ‘no’. If you had the power to change what happened, you would have.

I find it such a powerful exercise because it shows you were not to blame, and would never wish to harm your pet.

Think About Your Pet’s Quality of Life

Another important point mentioned by the folks at Pet Loss Partners, is to remember that whatever you did was to ensure you gave your pet the best quality of life you could.

You let your cat out because you believed it made her happy to have freedom; you hired a dog walker so your pup would have a chance to get out during the day; you gave your rabbit fresh air by putting him in the outdoor run. None of what you did was to put your pet in any danger, and it’s important to remind yourself of that.

Express Your Feelings

Try not to feel ashamed or embarrassed by your feelings, you were lucky enough to find someone to love that much. Whether it’s crying, talking to a friend or writing in a journal, it will help the healing process.

Find Ways to Make Peace with What’s Happened

Host a memorial in your home, light a candle, share stories with others who knew him or her.

One thing that may be particularly helpful in these circumstances is to write a letter to your pet. There’s no “right” way to do this, just write whatever you want. You can express how much you miss them, talk about how you feel about the accident, the impact they had on your life. Apologise if you feel that will help, and if/when you’re feeling up to it, write a letter to you from your pet and imagine what he or she would want to say to you.

If writing isn’t your thing, how about having a conversation out loud with your pet? Whatever resonates with you.

Use the STOP Method

The STOP method can be particularly helpful if you keep reliving the accident or the last moments of your pet’s life. It’s understandable and normal, but very traumatic. This information is also thanks to Pet Loss Partners.

The first step is identifying what happens right before the thoughts come. What’s triggering you? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating? Are you watching sad movies or watching too much depressing news?

Try and remove the triggers.

The next step is saying the word STOP as soon as those thoughts and feelings enter your mind, and replace them with a kinder thought of a special moment you shared.

Have you ever noticed someone wearing a rubber band around their wrist and snapping it? That is another way to implement the STOP method rather than yelling the word.

Create a Memorial and Find Comfort in the Memories

Again, this can look anyway you want it to. Create a scrapbook and add favorite photos, or just sit back and remember some beautiful times you shared together.

Turn the Accident into a Legacy

Did the accident happen as a result of something faulty in the public domain? Equipment left in the open? A faulty traffic light? What about writing a letter to a public official, requesting an investigation and change? Imagine what kind of legacy that would be? What about writing an article about a design flaw in a product? Thanks to you, how many pets’ lives will be saved?

Give Yourself Time to Heal

There is no time limit on grief, and there’s no straight line to when you will start feeling better. It’s filled with ups and downs, twists and turns so give yourself permission and time to grieve.

Honor Your Pet’s Memory

Whether that’s planting a tree on an anniversary, volunteering at an animal shelter or donating to a cause close to your heart, there are so many ways for you to honor your beloved pet.

What about placing a memorial such as a tree, bush or plaque at the site of the accident?

It’s Okay to Feel Okay

With time and support you will learn to cope. Finding yourself loving and laughing again doesn’t mean the bond you shared was any less deep. You will always love him, and memories of your life together will always be with you.

Celebrate Their Life

Your pet meant everything to you, and although the loss was shocking, please remember all the ways you brought joy to each others’ lives.

Conclusion

I hope with all the advice I’ve mentioned above, you get to a point where your pet’s story is about a lot more than “an animal who died in a tragic accident.” Your pet was so much more and meant so much more to you, don’t forget the joy and unique personality whose life you were lucky to share.

Navigating the heartache of losing a beloved pet can be tough, and sometimes you just need a little extra support. As a Certified Pet Loss Specialist, I’m here to help you through the pain, offering compassionate guidance and understanding during this challenging time. Together, we can honor your furry friend’s memory and find healing in the journey.

Let’s connect and talk about how to embrace the love you shared while moving forward with hope.

Book a free call with me (Hindy) here.